Season 1 Episode 43

Episode 43

Sky One Transmission Date:

Tuesday 10th March 1998

Written By

Olly Dennis

Directed By

Nigel Miller

Conor, Fletch

Lucy, Frank

Des, Lynette

Georgina, Zoe

Ian, Stephanie

Marjorie, Conor

GS: Biloo Kapur (Hari Dhillon)  Marjorie Davies (Susan Kyd)

Lynette thinks Des’s unusual behaviour is just him being nervous on quarter-final day, and asks if he has a problem with Georgina staying at theirs. Des says he finds it odd about Michael leaving Zoe a pass to the Director's Box and shares in the club. Des is acting stranger and gets a ladder to find something in the loft. Lynette asks what could be more important than the quarter final, and Zoe is shocked when Des says he isn't going because “some things” are more important. Des goes through his hoards of football memoribilia, determined to find the date he was away at a certain match in summer 1979.

At the club, Stephanie with Biloo at her side is holding a press conference to launch the Harchester Says No anti-drugs campaign. Fletch is listening and Conor asks him for a word. Conor tells Fletch it's difficult what he wants to ask - it involves seeing an older woman. Fletch jumps to the conclusion that Conor is referring to he and Stephanie, and pushes him up against the wall saying he won't be blackmailed. Lucy tells Frank she's got the job at Sky but hasn't accepted yet, for she'd have to move her entire life to London and there's Karl to tell. Frank says her career should come first and not to throw this opportunity away on someone like Fletch! When Lucy tells Fletch he pretends to be happy for her, and Lucy tells him she's seen better acting in a panto.

As they watch Harchester kick off against West Ham, Des goes up to the Director's Box and Zoe is pleased to see him, but it's Stephanie he's come to see. After dragging her away to the boardroom, Des grills her about Michael's gift to Zoe. Stephanie states she was just carrying out her late husband's wishes, and adds Michael was always fond of Zoe. Conor arrives at the Health Club for his date with Mrs Davies - who is surprised to see 'Warren' is not the "tall, black 25-year-old stallion" that she was promised! Mrs Davies owns a sportswear company and she's meeting the biggest retail buyer in the country, and was hoping that she would have a young sale-exec to bond with him. Mrs Davies tells Conor to call her "Aunty Marjorie" and to just look pretty and be quiet!

The final whistle goes and West Ham have won, sending Harchester out of the Cup. As Frank encounters Des in the corridor and thinks his crying is over the result, adding they couldn't have won a game like that with the squad they have. Des instead asks Frank would he love Lucy as much if she wasn't his daughter. Frank says he's never had to think about that as she is, but has to go before Des can reveal his Zoe fears. Conor tells the retail buyer he thinks they use his company at the club, being a trainee in Harchester's youth team, which impresses Marjorie. A group of fans irrate at today's result surround Stephanie's car and pelt the windscreen with eggs.

Marjorie toasts the success of her meeting, and informs the squirming Conor she has booked "Warren" until midnight and wants her money's worth. Georgina comes over to say hello and asks Marjorie if she is Conor's mother. Conor is forced to reveal he is also only sixteen but Marjorie tells him she likes them young! Having explained how he was filling in for Warren all along, Marjorie says what woman in her “mid-thirties” wouldn’t want Conor for company - after all they are both in their sexual prime! As Conor continues to resist Mrs Davies’ advances, he finds the solution when she says it's not like he doesn't like women. Only Conor's admission of being gay is overheard by both Zoe and Georgina!

Ian tells Stephanie he was just crucified in the press conference and how her stupid campaign will be mocked in tomorrow's pages with ‘Harchester Says No – No to goals, no to new players and no to the Cup’. Ian hands Stephanie his resignation letter dated for the transfer deadline day in two weeks, giving her the ultimatum that unless he gets a new striker he will be gone. Stephanie turns to Biloo and tells him she wants to sell the entire club and run a business she can understand, one where she isn't abused by fans just because schoolboys can't kick a ball. Des finally tells Lynette of his theory - he goes away for two weeks and nine months later she gives birth to Zoe, and for the next eighteen years she lets him believe she is his daughter. Des says Zoe isn't his, she's Lynette's and Mike Jacobs', while Georgina listening outside has heard the whole thing.

Notes:

·          Best Known For: Susan Kyd starred in "The Fourth Arm" (1983) "Strike It Rich" (1986) "Up The Garden Path" (1990-93) and "Married For Life" (1996)

The Best: Warren's message to Conor about meeting the Bird from the Escort Agency at the Helf Club. Lucy asking Stephanie with the transfer deadline fast approaching, will Harchester being saying "Yes" to any new players?! And Stephanie not impressed as the room in front of her sniggers, and she coldly replies that they are not here to talk about football, which delights Coates who asks isn't this supposed to be a football club? Zoe asking who the good West Ham player is, and Georgina says that's Rio Ferdinand, although they are unsure whether it was he or his cousin Les that went out with Dani Behr.

·          Quotes: Frank, on catching the end of Fletch’s impress-the-older-lady lesson with Conor: "What are you two nattering about?"  Conor: "Oh, just tactics Frank"  Fletch: "Yeah, I was teaching Conor how to score!".  Stephanie’s fun with Fletch is starting to play on her mind: Georgina; [As "Aunt" Majorie fawns over Conor] "Argh! Look at that she's all over him. It's disgusting"  Zoe: "Oh Georgina don't"  Georgina: "But it's horrible she's like a craddle-snatcher!"  Stephanie [raises head]: "What was that?!!"

Foreshadowing: Lucy already being packed off several episodes before her exit.

·          What Was The Score?: The FA Cup Quarter Final against West Ham sees a goal-less first half, and a Berkovich goal wins the game 1-0, ending Harchester’s Cup dream.

Soundtrack: Des’ree: "You Gotta Be",  All Saints: "Never Ever"

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