Season 9 Episode 15

Episode 371


Sky One Transmission Date:

Sunday 29th January 2006


Directed By

Maurice Hutchinson


GS: Archie Mallinson (Brian Miller)  Vincent Burns (Graeme Fox) 

Lawrie Hannigan (Christopher Ellison)  ‘The Russian’ (Rad Lazar)  Phil Gartside (as himself)


Archie Mallinson, a scout from Bolton Wanderers, watches Hector play in a professional ex-pat game for Brazilian Showsport F.C. Realising his talent, he immediately contacts Bolton chairman Phil Gartside, and organises a trial. After the game, he approaches Hector in a pub and learns he is a free agent. Archie convinces Hector to travel to Bolton for a trial, telling him they need to hurry as the transfer window closes this coming Tuesday.



At the Lair, Hannigan introduces his right hand man Vincent Burns to the team. Meanwhile in the boardroom, Lynda is giving Ashleigh, Alex, and the rest of Felix's coaching staff their notice under new management terms. Ashleigh and Alex are told they won't even be needed for their notice, which makes things even better between Hop-Along and Lynda. Lynda is still trying to find Hector, and Amy's scatty replacement isn't making things easier. Ashleigh shows Casper her notice letter and he asks whether she can fight it. They are interrupted by Vincent Burns who berates Casper for not being back training with the team six weeks after his shoulder injury. On the training pitch, Danny is still in a state over the whole Kim/Amy affair and Hannigan and Burns are losing patience with him. Tyson tells Ryan they have to do something, as they promised in Cardiff they would be there for each other. Ryan however is more concerned about getting back to Jaws-nee-Max, who doesn't like being left alone.


As Lawrie bitches to Lynda about the lack of progress being made in selling Eugene, Amy's replacement suddenly remembers they had a call regarding Hector's work permit, hours ago. An irritated Lynda speaks to the man in question and learns that someone else has made the same application on behalf of Hector - Bolton Wanderers. Lynda gets on the phone to Phil and is shocked when he tells her it's a pity she let Hector out of her sight, leaving her with "We saw him first!" as her only comeback. During a forced working lunch, Danny confides in Tyson and Ryan that Kim hasn't had any time for him since the twins were born. Burnsy interrupts, and Danny tells him he's been captain of the team since the beginning of the season. Vincent makes out that the break-up of Danny's marriage is not relevant to his job as team captain. Hannigan calls a press conference, where Lynda sits uncomfortably as he comically talks to an empty chair beside them, implying Hector should be sitting there but Bolton Wanderers have stolen him! A reporter even asks Lawrie if he's saying Bolton Wanderers have kidnapped Hector. Lynda drags Hannigan out of the press conference and berates him for being libellous about Bolton and Phil Gartside when he is a good friend of hers. Not anymore Lynda!


The next morning, Hannigan reminds the lads that their attendance to "Mrs Block's welcome-do” for he and his team is compulsory. He leaves Vincent in charge for the day, before reading his team-sheet for tomorrow's game - with Danny out entirely and Tyson made captain. In his hotel room, Hector is visited by an anguished Archie, who tells him he has just been hauled in front of the entire board. Hector admits that he was in contact with another club under his agent Jackson Turner, but he didn't want to go and parted way with him. Archie believes Bolton, the club he loves will never touch him again after this. Phil Gartside later addresses the cameras to say they will be releasing Hector from this deal, having acted in good faith, but are considering taking sanctions against Harchester. Lynda is horrified at what's happened but all Hannigan is interested in is collecting Hector. When Hector sees that Hannigan has come for him, he accuses Lawrie of being in with Jackson and the Russians. Lynda approaches Hector and says she has a present for him – a #10 Harchester shirt with his name on, and tells him she wants him to play for her.


Tyson and Ryan meet Amy at the Grange, where they tell her of their concerns for Danny. She says she can't get involved and Ryan makes her see that she is the only one who can help Danny. Amy goes to Danny's room where the two discuss where he is at the moment. He tells Amy he hurt Kim so badly, but all he really wants is to be with her. Amy reminds Danny that he loves his football, and Harchester, so not to throw it all away to punish himself. Mrs Block's welcome-do is held that evening. Casper asks Ashleigh where she'll go now, and she says probably to Miami as her dad lives there. She takes an entire tray of champagne glasses and asks Cass if he'll join her alone. Liam tells Alex he is sorry things didn't work out for him here, and wishes him well, which the two men toast to. Cass and Ashleigh sprawl out on the physio room floor, and Ash says as she's no longer Cass' boss she doesn't have to behave herself. The two kiss but Casper pulls away, saying it wouldn't be right with her leaving. He wishes her a wonderful life (again, it ain’t gonna happen for Ash) and leaves to go and sort Hannigan (well he does!).


Hector is introduced to the lads in the Players' Lounge, and Lynda spots Amy with Danny. She goes over and tells Amy she has a cheek showing up, but Danny stands up for his new open-girlfriend, saying people will just have to get used to them being together. Lynda notices Amy's replacement leaving, and reminds her that they have a new registration to complete. Amy's replacement reminds Lynda she has band practice, prompting Lynda to fire her and tells the girl if she wants a reference she can go and fetch Amy for her. Hannigan goes outside for a smoke, and a mysterious car pulls up beside him, opening it's passenger door. By daylight Lynda has got the police involved following Hannigan's disappearance, and even Burns is worried. Ashleigh and Alex are preparing to leave the Grange, and Harchester, when they learn from the lads that Hannigan is missing. At the club, where she has stayed all night helping, Amy tries to apologise to Lynda for what happened with Felix, and Lynda lets Amy know that she'd like for her to stay on.


Alex tells Vincent that he and a smug Ashleigh are here to help, which Burns appreciates, having known Hannigan for more than twenty years. Chloe arrives with Owen Lloyd, Hannigan's new signing, but is delayed when Lynda gets a message that someone downstairs wants to see her. She goes out to a waiting car where a foreign man asks her to get inside. Reluctantly, she does so, and before long the man has presented Lynda with Hannigan's lighter and cigarettes. Now fearing the worst, Lynda listens as the man tells her that Hector belongs to a number of people and as they now have no player, Lynda now owes them £10M. Lynda goes back inside and calmly tells Amy that the money for the Holland/Lloyd deal needs to go in another transaction, and to trust her that Hannigan won't be returning. In the dressing room, Alex reassures Burns into making the team talk, to which he does with one word; "Win.”


Harchester take to the pitch against, ironically, Bolton, and Lynda tells an annoyed Chloe where the money supposedly for her new client went. She tells Lynda that Hector had better be worth it, and Lynda crosses her fingers. Before long however, Hector has scored and Lynda's faith is reassured.




·          Best Known For: With his acting career dating back to the 60s, Brian Miller even voiced Darleks in “Doctor Who” during the series’ later years in the 80s.


The Best: Again, Amy’s replacement and the faces she pulled. Pure comedy. Vincent Burns - proved to be an OK guy in the end. Also the end of Hannigan, but a brilliant stint from Christopher Ellison.


·          Quotes: With dialogue which would’ve made D.I Burnside proud; Hannigan: "That Hahn obviously mollycoddled the hell out of those boys!" and (to Hector): "Look will you stop being such a tart?!".


Additional Info: Hector's full name is Ramon Hector Rodriquez Patricea Da Silva. Kevin Keatings begins his pronunciation of Hector’s name as “Hec-tour” from this episode.


·          What Was The Score?: Hector scores on his debut so we’re left to expect a Harchester win.


Soundtrack: Editors: "Blood",  Freeloaders: "So Much Love To Give",  Ricky Martin: "Maria."


Screencaps from 9.15’s original broadcast on Sky One on 29/01/06.


 Hector is happy to be playing

 just about anywhere

"What does this button do?!"



 "His squad number is infinity -

 invisible just like him"

Taking on Tys? No wonder Burnsy didn't last long...



  Making a go of it

And he was never seen again



 He's a fake Lynda (just see the

 next ep!)

Burns can't function without his mentor


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