As if the land of football needed to be dramatized. Take a tabloid rag into the traps for your morning ablutions and after many wasted hours spent on the seat the sport pages finally arrive bearing tales of pub brawls aplenty, sordid orgies, binge-drinking and even, perhaps, the odd goal. "Ah…. but what fool wouldn't want to transfer such filthy goings on to my wondrous gogglebox?" And, of course, you'd be right. Not least because all of these ludicrously well-paid ball kicking monkeys surround themselves with nothing but the finest in stunning lady folk. And that alone is TV gold. Which is precisely why someone with a wad of readies to spare concocted such a beast for Sky One, naming their creation Dream Team. It's the most successful football drama ever made, a phenomenon that is unlikely to change thanks to the welcome addition of this young lady, Angela Saunders, to it's suitably beautiful cast.
Tune into Sky's weekly football based drama fest and you'll clock her as troubled player's wife Tash Parker, who most recently had a fling with ridiculously named club boss, Monday Bandele. But before you start dreaming – or planning an unwelcome surprise "surprise" for the actress's 25th in May – it will hardly come as a shock that in real life, the former model is herself head over heels with a footballer: Tottenham midfielder Stephen Clemence. We've been told Ant and Dec once had the pleasure of your dancing skills. Care to elaborate? They did! I used to be a dancer and ended up performing on their show. It actually started off as the PJ and Duncan Show and there were five of us girls picked out the college to dance in the background. We were called the Geordettes, but Ant and Dec would call us, "Ya brazen litt'l hussies..." We did it for a couple of series. Just there to be bimbos, kicking our legs around wearing feathers. We were the Pan's People of the nineties! So did you succumb to their cheeky Geordie charm and crack onto either one of them? No! They were actually both still with their girlfriends that they are with to this day… and they're about 8 inches shorter than me. I tend to shy away from short men, there's definitely a syndrome about them. And every short man I have come across since then hasn't proved me wrong.
Dear God…. It says here you once did panto. Did any washed up celebs try their luck back then? I've never done panto, that's a lie! I did dance on a cruise ship when I was 21 though. We traveled all around Miami, the Florida Keys, Mexico and the Bahamas. It was six months of pure fun. It was like one big intestinal family, everyone was off shagging everyone else: people in the casinos, gift shops, even deck scrubbers! It was a case of bed hopping from one cabin to the other with parties all the time. I never actually witnessed any goings on, but you could always hear it because the walls weren't thick, especially on the crew deck. At the end of the day you'd just have to lie there and listen. It wasn't too bad, but it was a bit weird when two guys where at it… Ha! "Two guys…" indeed.
Anyway Dream Team is tagged as realistic. Have you ever met anyone by the name Monday Bandele? No! But it's the Nigerian thing isn't it? It is weird, especially when you have to say, "Monday, what are we doing on Tuesday?" Maybe the writers got pissed and are just having fun. Mind you, Tash slept with him when she was desperately upset, so names can't be that important.Right … so what you're really trying to say is that sympathy is always the best way in for a shag? There you go! If you're a single man, that's what you should do. If you play on a women's vulnerability at that time then you've definitely got a way in. But if you're looking for a relationship, no way. We don't like weasels! For me, it would be a real man that wins every time. I suppose it works both ways really… but then a girl would probably only have to mention sex and the bloke would just do it anyway.
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